That is what I caught Spencer and Gideon saying the other day then laughing their butts off. And, I'll admit I also was laughing my butt off, because that's a very silly thing to say. I've noticed my blogs are a bit baby-centric. I feel bad about that because the older boys are pretty funny too. Like today for example, Dennis has been telling the kids for about a week that he would make them root beer floats for dessert. Well, either he forgets, or they don't eat enough dinner to get dessert or what happened last night happens...I made a cake for dessert. I know, how could I? What kind of monster am I? (oh, for those interested, it was a chocolate 2 layer cake with chocolate whipped cream between the layers and buttercream frosting and blue sparkly sprinkles....you may now drool all over your keyboard...) Anyway, so today Spencer says to me, in the voice that only a 10 year old can have, "Mama, will you please not make a cake or brownies or cookies tonight??". You would have thought he was asking me not to make broccoli covered snails or something. Well, that definitely told me how much he was really wanting a root beer float! So, being the kind and lovable, yet slightly evil Mama I am, I then used it against him for good behavior. See, we spent all day in beds...wait, let me explain! We went mattress hunting (ok, now I'm picturing Elmer Fudd "I'm hunting mattwesses, be vewwy vewwy qwiet!")
Well, the hunt went very well. I had done a bit of research online, so we were only going to go to 2 stores. And we can't buy it until our tax return gets here (Ya hear that IRS??? Hurry up, my bed is killing me!!!). But, the plan was to go, try out all the beds we could...with all 5 kids with us...and have exactly what we want picked out. Then when the tax return comes (I'm lookin' at you again IRS!) Dennis can just stop in and pay for the bed while he's out doin' his whole work thingamajig that he does. So, we go to Metro Mattress and there was a great sales guy that helped us. He has us try one mattress that was, to paraphrase Mike Myers paraphrasing Barbra Streisand, "like buttah". With an artery clogging price tag of $6,000 *gasp!* Now, this was about 4 minutes after we walked into the store, so by this time the kids had of course pretty much forgotten the law that we laid down before we walked into the store. But, at that point I was laying down on a piece of Heaven, and I couldn't quite find my "I care" button. I did start to get curious about the cost of the bed, though, so I did get up to look at the price. And then I knew that the bed was an instrument of the Devil. How else can you explain my thinking "Well, if we potty train the babies right now, that will save $40 a month and if we eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the next 2 years, and never go anyplace so we wont need gas money, and don't buy any new clothes....we could afford this bed!" Haha, ok, it wasn't that bad...but it was a very nice mattress :) Anyway, we tried out a bunch more mattresses while the kids jumped from bed to bed like crazy (yet adorable) frogs in a sea of white lily pads. All except for Lincoln because he is a perfect child....and he was buckled into his stroller. Luckily we were the only customers in the store and the sales people were very nice and kept the dirty looks to a minimum. Haha, ok there were no dirty looks at all and they were laughing at the kids and saying they were fine, at one point they took them to see the adjustable beds and we didn't hear from them again. Take a temporpedic bed, which the boys are obsessed with!, and add a remote control...well, I'm surprised we were able to get them out of the store! So, we tried many many mattresses, and finally found a perfect one. Plus it was a floor model last years model, so it was 1/2 off (originally $2,500 marked down to $1,300). They said they would hold it with a $100 deposit. Since this was the first store we tried we didn't want to just jump at it. We wanted to make sure that was the best deal. So, we say we want to think about it for a bit, then we went to City Mattress (which was all the way on the other side of the plaza). Now, I knew we were in trouble right off the bat because this store had whole little bedroom dioramas, with bedding and night stands and furniture and knick nacks. So, that was a bit of a "huh, prices might be a bit higher here" feeling. But the real reason I knew we were in trouble? Moira. Yeah, as soon as we get out of the car she looks over and right in front of the window is this bed (cue choir of Angels). It was the girliest prettiest little princess bed ever. A loft bed with a cloth canopy and turrets and a flag and pink bedding and Moira took one look at it, clasped her hands under her chin and said "Oh! My princess castle bed! We're gonna get it for me?"Hoo boy, not good. So, we still tried out a bunch of mattresses, and we talked to a sales person, and the store was more crowded then the other one so we had to keep the kids closer, and Moira was subtlely bringing us closer and closer to "her" princess castle bed, and the sales lady was nice but not as nice as the one at the other store, and the mattresses were nice but not as nice as the other store. We tried a bunch, then we let Moira try out the princess bed then we left and went back to the first store. Dennis stayed in the car with the kids while I went in to try the bed again. When I walked it and told the sales guy I wanted to try it again real quick and Dennis was outside with the kids he said "Let me grab the pillow, sneak a nap, I'll wake you up in 30 minutes" Hahaha. So I tried it again to be sure, then went out and Dennis came in to try it again, then he put the $100 deposit down. So now I'm super happy, and I think my back will feel much better having a nice soft supportive bed to sleep on (huh, soft and supportive...kinda like me). Although I did just realize that now I need to clean my room. Crap. Ok, never mind, cancel the new bed :)
And, yes I realize I took such detour from what I started this blog talking about that I should probably post a little refresher of how I started on the subject of mattress shopping. Here it is: root beer floats. And how I'm 25% evil (or Evil Light, all the fun with only 1/2 the calories). Here's what root beer floats and mattress shopping have in common: before we went into the first store I told the kids "if I see you guys running around, acting crazy, or putting your dirty shoes on the beds you will not be getting a root beer float for dessert!" And, while they did run around a bit at the first store, they really were pretty well behaved, and they all remembered to keep their shoes off the mattresses. Ok, granted, they just took their shoes off, but that still counts in my book. They remembered something I told them.
So, Mom and Dad, here's a little tip for when you watch the kids next month...they can totally be bribed with root beer floats (I'll make sure to have supplies), also chocolate works very well, especially with Moira. Of course yesterday out of no place she just says to me "Daddy's dark chocolate is really, really gross! It didn't taste good for me!" I do believe she has been scared forever by that 99% dark chocolate we let her try. Poor girl.
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